I was REALLY excited to go home for summer this year. To chill, relax, run, sleep way more than normal....but right before I left school and continuing into my first week of summer I have come to a couple conclusions:
1. This summer is not so much about the hellos as it is about the goodbyes.
2. People grow. And change. And .....
3. I'm not going to have an actual summer.
4. At this point in the summer everyone has hit cruise and I'm still pulling off of the brakes.
Conclusion #1: This summer is not so much about the hellos as it is about the goodbyes.
Saying goodbye to my friends from school was exceptionally difficult. We've gone through a lot together...lots of amazing moments and a few hard times. Living together definitely brings another level to a friendship and I'm so grateful that I was able to bond with so many people.
While saying hello to all of my friends from home has been nice, for me it has been greatly overshadowed by the fact that at the end of the summer I will be saying goodbye for a lengthy period of time. Yes. I'll be home for Thanksgiving. I'll probably be home for part of winter break. Maybe, I'll be home for spring break. But I don't think I'll be coming back for the summer. Chances are great that this is the last time that I will be spending large amounts of time with people from home.
This is my last summer at home. My last opportunity to strengthen my relationships with the people I grew up with. My last time to create bonds and get things straight. To in a way find closure in relationships. After this summer all of these relationships are up against time. We move in the direction of Christmas card friends, checking up only with important news and or a yearly Christmas update. It's kind of depressing that the relationships that I've been fostering for the last 19 years hinge on the next 3 months.
Conclusion #2: People Grow. And Change. And .....
A lot of the people that I've grown up with have changed. It isn't bad or good change. It's just change. They've had different experiences then I have. They have new sets of friends that have influenced them. They hang out with different people and value different things in friendships. I've come to realize that I don't have any control over these situations and it's best to accept what's happening and move on. Another thing that has influenced me this summer is that I no longer care about the people who don't care. If people want to make and effort to hang out, then I'm willing to hang out with them and make the effort back. However, I'm not going to go out of my way to contact people who don't care.
Conclusion #3: I'm not going to have an actual summer.
I finished my last final on Thursday, June 7th at 5 pm. Caught a flight home at 9:21 am on Friday, June 8th, and was in the office from 9 am to 3 pm on Saturday, June 9th. My normal work schedule (7am-3pm M-F) began the first Monday I was home....meaning that unlike everyone else who got 3 to 4 weeks to chill and SLEEP before starting their summer jobs, I went directly from school to work and then will go directly back to school in the fall. I'll be moving back into NU on the Saturday after my last Friday of work (I think we're at 78 days?)!
Complaining but not really. This is real life. No more long breaks where you chill for endless hours and spend a whole day deciding what to do just because you can waste that much time. That's for spring break....duh (and middle/high schoolers).
Adulthood here I come.
Conclusion #4: At this point in the summer everyone has hit cruise and I'm still pulling off of the breaks.
All of my friends were home for a good 3-5 weeks before I even finished my last final. Meaning that they've all caught up with each other, talked about their year at school, and are utterly bored by sitting around for hours doing nothing. ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE SHINY AND NEW TO ME!!! I want to lay in my bed for hours sleeping. I don't care about staying out until 3 am in the morning because that's what the school year is for! This is summer.
People have started to get a little restless. College is a constant experience where every moment is something new and exciting. Being at home is chill. Everything is familiar and you can only enjoy the calm and quiet for a little before it gets a little tedious. I'm not at that point yet, which is a stark contrast to lots of my friends from home.
Keep it chill.
Kat
No comments:
Post a Comment